Sims 3 hates me…

After struggling with this wretched game for what seems an age, I am about ready to give up on the whole fucking thing and run screaming back to the familiar embrace of Sims 2.  Putting aside my loathing of the new and more complicated way of doing…well, everything, it has been patches and updates which have troubled me the most.

Sims 3 comes with a nifty ‘Launcher’ which is supposed to act as a hub, allowing you to start the game, update with the latest (and this being Sims – copious amounts of) patches, download goodies for your game, and upload snaps and creations to share with the rest of the community.  Of course, the more cynical would say that it is also a fab way for them to advertise their latest wares too.

If the launcher actually did the job it was designed for, then I wouldn’t have so much of an issue.  But it doesn’t.  Oh, it still manages to show my what I can spend my ’sims points’ on in the online store, but will it update?  Will it buggery.  As with every Sims release, the patches come thick and fast and not wanting my game to be crippled by one of the many reported bugs, I hastened to my launcher as soon as the first patch was announced (despite hardly touching the game after losing my temper with…well, most of it).  It refused to update, telling me that my drive was full and to clear some space and try again.  What drive?  This drive?  This mahoosive one here?  This drive which at the time of writing reads 343gb remaining?  That one?  Ah, okay.

Close launcher, re-open and repeat.  Nope.  Open Crap Cleaner and clear cookies, cache, and temp internet files.  Nothing.  You’re taking the piss now, but fine.  Onto the Sims 3 official site to search for the patches to download and manually install, just like I used to do for Sims 2…nice and easy.  Too easy.  They are nowhere to be found.  As far as I am aware after much diligent searching, the patches aren’t available on the site unless my PC is sadistically refusing to show them.  Well, thanks a lot.  With the updater refusing to do it’s job, this rather leaves me up shit creek without either a paddle, an AtoZ, or a packed lunch.

Onward to Google and hours later…a handful of sites that don’t try and download viruses, pop up stupid windows full of gaudy emoticons fail to help.  They have patches, but they won’t install.  I can update with the first patch, no problem, but the next patch release refuses to install.  The same thing happens when I get it from another site.  And another, with all either quitting out claiming an incompatible language or some paltry error message that I was too livid to note down.

So do I play this wretched game un-patched and essentially hold a loaded plumbob to my carefully created characters’ heads?  Or do I wait and see if the patches appear in any working form elsewhere?  After trawling the net to see if anyone else  either a, hates this game as much as I do right now (for reasons including but not limited to the monotonous speed of the ‘top speed’ setting, lack of anything to do, and the inability to do basics easily such as simply switch families), and b, is having this problem.  Hours later again and nothing is resolved.   I’m left sulking and shutting down, cursing Sims 3, and slinking back to my sniggering Xbox with a contrite look on my face to beg for forgiveness.